Is football a conservative or liberal sport? What about golf? Or baseball? What games do the Nader Greens play? And what about those wacky Libertarians? Can you discover your own political philosophy through your favorite pastime?
College Football: it's the one major sport that resists a playoff. Oh sure, they crown a national champion, but unlike most leagues, in which only one team ends the season on a winning note, dozens of college football teams do. More teams share in the winning. Everyone is happy and the seasons end in picture perfect Bowl extravaganzas. What a utopian vision. Clearly, college football is a socialist game.
NFL Football: it pains me to say this, but the NFL is Communist. What else can you call revenue sharing? Win or lose, your spending is capped. As in Communist societies, the overall quality of the product declines. The NFL's overly zealous crackdown on celebrations also smacks of Communist-style oppression.
Baseball like the fields it's played on, is a sport the Greens can love. Baseball, like Green advocates, is resistant to change. Progress is seen in terms of potential damage rather than the potential benefits. Baseball is also in love with its own traditions and memories. Hmm, sounds like the way the far left feels about the 60s.
Hockey: in spite of its Canadian roots, hockey is a modern Republican sport. Hockey, like Republicans, understands that a show of strength is necessary to maintain the peace. That's why most Stanley Cup winners feature a goon or two and why most Republican Presidents stump for a strong military.
Golf: it's the game of choice for the Christian right. The rather shameless history of exclusion is one obvious similarity. Professional golf rules are rigid: no carts, no shorts, no super jacked up clubs. The rules of the Christian right are also rather rigid. It's all about these preset rules used to guide the individual in their quest for par or eternal salvation.
Horse Racing is definitely the sport for Libertarians. Each state makes it own thoroughbred racing regulations. There's no national authority. There are no spending caps or player contracts to negotiate. The owners and trainers are their own bosses and make their own rules.
What about Dummocrats? Figure Skating is the sport for them. No other sport rewards style over substance better than figure skating. No other sport depends almost exclusively on the judgement of supposedly impartial international institutions. If only there had been some kind of big scandal in the last couple of years involving the French or something. Then it'd be perfect.
Posted by kris at April 15, 2004 10:47 PMhaha, ok, this is darn funny.
i have a feeling that you're destined for internet-forward greatness, ms fedora