We've all heard and rolled our eyes (hello Shii Ann) to the worst sports cliches. But what phrases should we hear more often? What would liven up even the dullest contest? What phrases could be given a new twist if used during a game? Here's our list.
8. "Sin Bin". Phil Esposito used to say this for the penalty box a lot on old MSG network broadcasts. It's short. It rhymes and it sounds kind of naughty.
7. "Exuding Class". Trevor Denman, the famed Southern California racetrack announcer sometimes uses this to describe an easy winner. The phrase itself exudes class. I can see it being used to describe winners (think Tiger Woods at the Masters) and even losers (coaches especially).
6. "Oops! I Did It Again". Why, oh why isn't this used in sports? How perfect would it be to say this after Tiki Barber's 3rd or 4th fumble of the game?
5. "A Hole Big Enough to Drive a Truck to the Super Bowl through" The great Jim Irwin used this for the Packers in '95/96. It should be used more often. Football should follow the wisdom of country music: anything can be improved by referencing mama, trains, trucks, prison & getting drunk.
4. "Saving the Queens for Prom". Now this comes from cards and refers to saving your good cards until the end of the game, as if waiting for a better use for them (hint...it's not a good thing). I think it could be modified for sports to refer to, for example, managers not putting in their closers soon enough or coaches playing a vanilla defense. "Jones is sure saving the blitz for the prom today."
3. "It's a nickel. But if you get enough nickels, first thing you know you've got a quarter. Then you've got a heavy sack, and then you ain't going anywhere." Isn't that a fresh way to describe the way that a whole slew of penalties will kill ya? Of course, it was said by Keith Jackson. You could fill a page with great Keith Jackson quotes that deserve to be used by more announcers.
2. Bill Simmon's (a.k.a. The Sports Guy) 13 Levels of Losing. Having the play-by-play and color guys debate what kind of horrifying loss a particular game actually was would certainly liven up post-game shows. Plus, it'd give sports talk radio callers something to actually talk about when they dial in after their team blows it. No more, "Well I'm a Gators fan and I'm calling you now..." stuff anymore!
1. "I'd like to Bop that Bozo!" Originally said by a North Dakota broadcaster to a rowdy Wisconsin hockey fan, this phrase needs to enter the mainstream. While strictly for homers, this would certainly endear them to their audience. Just imagine:
Play-by-play guy: Culpepper tosses another TD to Randy Moss.
Color guy: I'd like to bop that bozo!